You're Not Alone

A genius friend of mine is starting a new venture. Hes an accomplished technologist, sales executive, consultant, and entrepreneur.

During a recent telephone conversation he said something striking. Before I tell you what he said, heres some background. Over the years, hes experienced his share of ups and downs in selling and business building, but hes unquestionably a success. He consistently earns in the moderate six-figures and it appears that he has recently become the beneficiary of a transaction exceeding $1 million. Now, after a short stint working for another consultant, hes itching to call his own shots. Heres what he said to me:

Andr, Im going to move ahead on my new business idea. Things are a little different than they were a few years ago. When I was working on that last business I was sitting in my basement, making calls and sending emails. I had no network. I felt alone in the process.

But now, he says, he feels he can make a go of it.

Heres whats striking. This is an individual who has no shortage of contacts. He once invited me over to his house for an impromptu get-together and I felt like I was waiting to get into New Yorks Studio 54 in its heyday. He had them packed in.

I would never think he would feel alone at anytime. Hes got a great personality, hes scary smart, and he has a sizable family and network of friends and business associates. Hes also waist deep in church and community activities and has legions of people who admire him. Yet when he described the experience of his last venture, he emphasized loneliness.

Entrepreneurs have often felt lonely believing that no one else shares their vision or their passion for building a business. But, we are not alone (pun intended) in that feeling. With todays growing workforce of soloists, telecommuters, work-at-home parents, independent salespeople, and virtual teams, loneliness is a feeling that millions are fighting.

During the ups and downs of completing a project, or finding new customers, the feeling of loneliness can set in and limit our vision and our productivity. It can be discouraging and be a wallop to that old self-esteem. And, with the gadgets we tote around, we unknowingly make it worse.

Technology thats supposed to connect us -- email, voicemail, and PDAs often fuels our loneliness, enabling us to do a better job of isolating ourselves. For some reason we dont treat every email or voicemail like a real person is behind it. Why acknowledge it?

Were also intentionally distracted. Were plugged into our new iPods, or tapping our PDA screen playing a game. How about using technology to interact with real people once in a while?

Teenagers are ahead in figuring this out, instant-messaging all day, but even they are lonely. Instant-messaging must often be combined with conference calls involving multiple friends for full effect. You see, you really need to hear someones voice.

Speaking of voice, theres the mobile phone. Its one of those technologies that help us cope with our loneliness. However, the obsessive use of mobile phones in our culture is perhaps the biggest clue that we are all eager to talk to somebody willing to hear our story. Walk down any street and youll see tons of people ignoring the people around them, talking to someone else on the telephone. As soon as we get into our cars we call somebody, so we wont be alone.

So what does this all mean to those in business and professional careers? I have three thoughts:

1. Make money. Loneliness is one of the biggest business opportunities I have seen in decades. If we can make our work and our businesses friendlier, more responsive, and more raucous like family gatherings, our businesses will soar. No matter how big our businesses, we have to make our customers, our friends and make them feel that way. Reach out. How about sending some freshly baked oatmeal raisin cookies to your friends? Better yet, how about delivering them?

2. Be nice to strangers. I know this is not the advice that your parents gave you, but there are millions of people looking for new contacts, conversations, and ideas. So what are you waiting for? Stop isolating yourself, turn off your mobile phone and strike up a conversation with the person next to you on line at the bagel store. Remember the old fashioned hello?

3. Unite and connect. How often have you called two people and introduced them to each other. If we are to cure this international epidemic of loneliness we must act now and decisively. Bring people together. Make life one big social gathering. And when someone gives you a new book, or tells you about a new restaurant, tell the author, restaurateur etc., how much you liked it. Write notes. Make calls. Be aggressively friendly. When people walk by and pretend they dont see you, shout Good Morning, loud enough to rattle their wisdom teeth.

Theres no need anymore to pretend that youre not lonely that youre too busy dealing with important people and projects. I know the truth. Im encouraging you to use your loneliness to your advantage. Most of the world is longing for what we used to call friends, to hear about their challenges, triumphs, and endeavors. Yes, this is you -- and youre not alone.

© Copyright 2007 Andr Taylor Taylor Insight Group, LLC. Go to http://www.andretaylor.com and get Andres free newsletter.Tennessee Public Record
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This Place for Today

Packing is arduous business.

Finding myself relocating to a new city means participating in the age-old, time-honored practice of pulling up stakes, shutting off utilities and looking ahead to another part of my life as it unfolds. The packing is simply the physical rendition of sorting and filing memories, moments and hopes that evidence the truth of the time spent in any place we choose to call home. Having done this a few times before, I am familiar with the process, its delights and its pitfalls. Gathering one's life together, releasing its unneeded portions to the universe, fitting the remainder into a box on wheels and trusting it will be intact and ready to be welcomed into a new space at the other end of the road, is both an act of will and faith. This move calls forth a good measure of the former and a greater measure of the latter than any other move has required.

My mother's family started their journey in this country in upstate New York in the early nineteenth century. Eventually making their way through the Midwest, my great grandparents met in Iowa in the latter part of that era and continued their travels to Minnesota by way of South Dakota. My mother remembers that they returned to Iowa each year to help with the cattle drives, the women running the chuck wagon to provide home cooked meals for the cowboys. Their son carried on the tradition, moving his wife, son and daughter through Wisconsin and North Dakota before settling in Chicago. When my mother speaks of where she grew up, it is Chicago she remembers as home. While I know my grandfather moved his family to accommodate his work, I am not sure why his parents kept to the road for so long.

But what their movement across the land tells me is that they were strong people with dreams, willing to withstand endless days walking next to covered wagons containing their whole lives to the frontiers of a place completely unknown to them. Each generation pushed a little further West, following a hope for more than what they had or could envision for themselves where they were. What few pictures I have of these people I never met reveal great beauty and joy so poignantly real I can feel them with me, directing me to take my part in the adventure. The unknown didn't seem to phase them, which is a gift, like their faith, that they have passed down to me. My people are people of faith, courage and abundantly joyful creativity, an ancestry of which I am proud to share, a legacy I hope to embody with grace.

The heat of these last days spent in this place that has been my home for seven years also reminds me that I am not carrying out an Exodus journey of Biblical proportions. There will be no hot desert winds on my face or burning sand under my feet, no blazing sun relentlessly beating down on my head with each passing minute, hour or day. There is an address to which I am headed, unlike the Israelites, who would wander for forty years with only the hope of God's assurance that there would be a promised land.

There is progress in the journey. Years later Isaiah would go on to speak of a new Exodus for God's people, a journey to a new Eden-like place. "For you shall go out with joy, and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress; instead of the briar shall come up the myrtle; and it shall be to the Lord for a memorial, for an everlasting sign which shall not be cut off (Isaiah 55: 12-13)." Sometimes what we can't see immediately is as important as what is within each task and step of the day. Within the tangible moments of living are housed the grace and mystery of God's purpose and promise. Herein lies our home, wherever we are.

As an ordained minister, Rev. Kemp has worked in both pastoral and educational ministries in several congregations. Her ministerial background and love of writing have combined to develop Creating Women Ministries, a website dedicated to encouraging theological dialogue, particularly among women, through workshops, journaling and personal spiritual development. Her book, You Don't see Many Chickens in Clearance: Essays on Faith and Living, is available for perusal or purchase at http://www.chickensinclearance.com. Visit Creating Women Ministries at: http://www.creatingwomenministries.com for the e-book edition. Questions? Thoughts? Musings? She can be reached by email at: creatingwomen@irun.com.Background Check Employee Florida
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